The Cullen Experiment
by RathboneLvr482
Summary: Keri and Melody are back and ready to torture the Cullens even more in this hysterically random story. Guaranteed to make you laugh so hard you get a brain hemorrhage and have to go to the hospital.


**Warnings: Complete crack! Absolutely NO CANON PAIRINGS!!!! Incest...**

**A/N: Please R&R! And enjoy!**

* * *

Prologue

Keri and Melody sat comfortably in the Cullen's living room, waiting for the vampire family to join them. Ultimately, they came down the stairs and sat down across from them.

"So what did you want to talk to us about?" Carlisle Cullen asked.

"We wished to ask for your help in a little experiment." said Keri with an impish grin.

"Of course! What kind of experiment?"

"Well, we are trying to learn what happens when members of the same family trade places and act as each other for an extended period of time."

"Oh! Sounds… interesting." Edward muttered.

His brother, Emmett, pushed him off the chair laughing, "Come on, bro! This could be fun!"

"Fine. Who would be whom?" Edward asked.

"Well," Keri sighed, pulling out a piece of paper, "We worked that out and some people will have to be themselves for this to work out."

"Okay." Emmett said, a grin plastered on his face, "Who's gonna be themselves?" "You and Esme. Everyone else is going to follow my instructions. Rosalie, you'll be Bella."

"What?!" screamed Rosalie.

"Alice, you'll be Rosalie."

"But that means that-" Alice whimpered.

"Yep. And Bella, you'll be Alice."

"The pixie? Cool." Bella smiled.

"Edward, you'll be Carlisle. Jasper, you'll be Edward. And Carlisle, you'll be Jasper."

"So where does this leave our couples?" Esme asked.

"Well, see there's the problem." Keri chuckled nervously, "Rosalie is going to be with Jasper."

"Alice will be with Emmett." Melody told them.

"And Esme will be with Edward -I know it's weird but just go along with it." Keri finished.

"And what about-"

"Oh yes! Bella. Bells, you'll be with Carlisle." Melody smiled at Bella Swan, Edward's girlfriend.

An awkward silence followed. It was a few minutes before the realization sunk into Edward's head. Then all hell broke loose.

"WHAT?!?!?!?!" he screeched.

"Just relax, Eddie!" Emmett laughed, placing his hand comfortingly on Edward's shoulder.

Edward shrugged it off angrily, "Don't call me Eddie!"

"Edward, relax!" Esme warned, "It won't be _that_ bad!"

"Whoa, _whoa_! WHOA!" Alice gasped, "We have to act like the person we switched with, right?"

"That is correct." Melody smiled

"But, since I'm Rosalie… and Emmett's himself… I- He- We-… I'm going to die, aren't I..?"

"Oh, don't talk like that, Alice!" Esme scolded, "It'll all be okay."

Emmett smiled soothingly, "Don't worry Alice! I won't hurt you."

Rosalie interjected, "Emmett! Look at Alice! She is three-quarters of my height, and you hurt _me_! Saying that you won't hurt her is the biggest lie you could ever tell! She'll be expecting it to not hurt, and that's when she'll be in terrible, _agonizing_, pain!"

Emmett stiffened. "Rosalie," he hissed, "I was saying that so she would _relax!!!_"

"Oh." Rosalie mouthed.

Alice's eyes were wide with fear and terror. Small whimpers escaped her lips. Emmett glared quickly at Rosalie, then walked over and put his arm around Alice. Jasper, Bella, and Esme followed suit.

Emmett looked up from comforting Alice to meet Keri's golden eyes, "So when does this start?"

"At noon today." was Keri's response, "That gives you… mm… three hours to prepare and say goodbye to your old mates. At least for now."

They all looked amongst each other, almost nervously.

"We'll give you some alone time." Keri said. She grabbed Melody's arm and both of them bowed out, leaving the Cullens alone.

* * *

After all the hugging and luck and understanding had been sorted out, they all went back to their semi-normal existences. Jasper Hale spent the **time** still trying to calm a freaked-out Alice down. Bella and Edward paced back and forth trying to work out a solution out of this. Eventually, Edward decided that Bella needed some sleep and sent her off to bed. Once she was out like a light, he walked upstairs to Carlisle, his adoptive-father's, study. Before he could knock on the door, he heard Carlisle call, "Come in, Edward."

Edward pushed the door open and stepped in, "Carlisle. I- I'm not so sure about this whole _switch_ thing. It just seems… awkward. I mean, you and Bella. Me and Esme."

"I know, Edward." Carlisle's breath hitched in his throat, "I don't know what I was thinking by saying yes to that."

"Well, there's nothing we can do now except deal with it. We can cope, then hope that things can at least go back to normal after this. Okay?" Edward asked holding out his hand. Carlisle smiled then gripped his hand firmly. Both of them looked up as the clock chimed noon.

Alice and Jasper looked at the clock, clutching each other closer.

Bella woke up to Esme looking over her, smiling sweetly.

Rosalie and Emmett broke apart from their near hour-long make-out session.

Their new persona have been created; Their new lives have begun.

* * *

**I told you, it's complete crack! I get 5 reviews and I'll update! Don't be harsh, though! I don't like flames!**


End file.
